What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 04:40
Especially a lifetime of it.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Mario Kart World Is Not An Open-World Game, Nintendo Says - GameSpot
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Why are Republican politicians so afraid to oppose Trump?
My life is so biszare .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Lions Make Surprise OL Signing to Replace Frank Ragnow - Detroit Jock City
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
All the time i was locked up.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
What are the pros and cons of a prospective bride/groom not having any siblings?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Aubrey Anderson-Emmons cleverly comes out as bi with help from this 'Modern Family' scene - Yahoo
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
New Study Finds No Evidence of Tension in Hubble Constant - Sci.News
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Cardinals Place Jordan Walker On 10-Day IL, Select Ryan Vilade - MLB Trade Rumors
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Why Elon Musk's satellites are 'dropping like flies' - Yahoo
Where the ultimate outsiders.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She found it foreign!.
Changing one gene can restore some tissue regeneration to mice - Ars Technica
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Europe cuts interest rates as Trump's tariffs loom - BBC
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
So, i spoilt her more .
Night Owls More Impulsive Than Morning Larks - Neuroscience News
Why did i forgive my father ?
I was seconnd youngest,
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I write beautiful poetry .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Comes on , in middle age.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
What did i know ?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Im still living with it.
I was 9 years of age.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But, we were locked up after school.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We all went to grammer schools
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She married twice! .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
This is soul school!.
When she asked me how she looked .
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Put me off passion for life!!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
So whats the point in blame.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Who then, do I blame.?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
My family never makes their pension either.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I waited trembling.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He knew the spot.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I will be 64.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
She was in good health!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And i lived it daily.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But ive been too sick for many years..
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But it wasn’t much.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I was very sick at this time too.
One cannot live in the past .
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I have no regrets .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I was scared of men, in general
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I think the readers, may guess!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I could never make a relationship work though!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
(And it was in our own minds.)
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Would this be the day?
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
It was going to be , some day.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Was to survive, this bastard.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She wouldn,t have been !
I said to her
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I don,t even have a pension.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
We were not on the streets..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Ive learnt so much.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
She loved him until the end.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!